Can you relate to my pain?

I was inspired to write this post because after all, this is a blog about fearlessness.  I’ve often been afraid to show deeper, darker parts of myself for fear of being rejected, ridiculed, etc. Mostly though, I think it’s because I’ve been terrified to explore those parts of myself.  But I want to begin acknowledging those parts that are the most scary, and that’s okay.  I’m acknowledging my imperfection, and my own humanity.

How often do we look for the worst in others to validate our own existence?  Or secretly celebrate someone else’s pitfalls because it eases our own pain?  I’ve done that.  Often. Sometimes I’ll read gossip blogs and ridicule those who were seemingly at the top only to come crashing down.  Or I’ll read or hear about someone who’s having marriage trouble and place myself above them because my marriage is great at that particular time.  But I’m finding that all those things are simply ways to avoid facing the demons within myself.  There’s no such thing as perfect.  Nor is everything the same all the time.  What can happen to you today, can easily happen to me tomorrow.  No one is exempt from anything.  And no one knows everything.

And that’s okay, we’re human.  It’s okay to fear the unknown.

However, I make no excuses for those actions, because they are contrary to the very thing that I’m attracted to, which is true love and acceptance for myself and others.  I have to see the pain within myself, and the very thing that drives me to want to validate my existence through the pain of others.  It’s actually that pain that ties us, that binds us, and that makes us family.  That makes us one.

It’s impossible to be perfect all the time, especially if there’s a lack of acknowledgment of the pain that occurs in life, living in an ideal bubble of perspective that doesn’t really exist. We all experience pain.  Maybe what I do with my life can make someone else’s pain a little more bearable.  

Maybe that’s the point of life anyway.

 

New journey of self-exploration and vulnerability

So…new blog, new ideas, fresh start…

I’m so excited to start this blog!  This was definitely a random moment of inspiration (hint: nothing is random) and I was inspired to write down all of the new and incredible things I’m experiencing.

One thing about me that I’ve always yet never really known (I know, that’s weird right?!  Tell me about it.)…

I. HATE. BEING. VULNERABLE.

There.  I said it.  I hate exposing my private life and inner workings to the world because I know how easily life and its experiences can be taken out of context.  Not necessarily on purpose, we can only experience life through our own lens.  It’s difficult to put ourselves completely in others’ shoes because then, well, we’d be them!  We can only do it in part, which leaves room for error.  And that room for error scares the shit out of me.

And that’s the exact reason I’m starting this blog.

Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous quote is “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”  So true. The only way to conquer fear?  Do the thing that you fear.  Face the fear head on and let God take care of the rest.

So, world, I’m going to expose myself.  The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.  It’s time to see what I’m really made of, and I’d like to take you for the ride.